Farce the Nation

Last ditch effort to save Greece from default provokes desperate measures

2011-10-27T23:17:00.000-07:00

Reuters/Yvs Herman

Merkel: Don't worry darling, you'll always be my number one number two.

Mitt Romney and Rick Perry engage in heated debate

2011-10-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

(AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

Mitt Romney: Behold, my stiff-postured, jeering laugh in response to your obvious desperation.

Rick Perry (to himself): At least I've still got the birthers on my side.

Herman Cain's unabashed 9-9-9 plan for the rich

2011-10-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

(Reuters)

"Why leave a slice for the working poor when you can have it all?"

The insight of Paul Krugman cannot be denied

2011-10-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

Mainstream media's reaction to those protesting Wall-street's abuses have been smug, cynical, and dismissive. As our movement continues to grow, mainstream media is finding it increasingly difficult to deny the truth of corporate abuse and the righteous indignation of the 99%.

The following video courtesy of YouTube is a clip from MSNBC's"Morning Show" where co-host Mika Brezinski reads an excerpt from an Op-Ed piece written by Paul Krugman. Notice how even conservative leaning Brezinski is compelled to acknowledge the truth of Krugman's words:

Occupy Wallstreet: The time is now

2011-10-08T23:16:00.000-07:00

The time is now.

I started this silly political blog a few years ago as a source through which to vent my frustrations. I'm proud of some of my earlier posts; however, it was a work-in-progress and my enthusiasm to churn-out a steady stream of posts eventually fizzled.

But so much has happened since I was last active, namely, during the 2008 presidential primaries.

Given the enormity of the global economic crisis, I cannot with good conscience remain inactive. And so, in the spirit of the Wall-street protesters camped-out in Zuccotti Park, I have been inspired to voice my fears, anxieties, hopes, and dreams of so much that needs to be addressed and changed.

This is not about right vs. left, or Republican vs. Democrat, this is about the people vs. corporations.

We are the 99%!

The pirate and the wand

2008-07-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

Democrats accuse Gramm, a top economic adviser to Sen. John McCain, of shamelessly labeling the American people as “whiners” in the face of broad economic hardship. McCain quickly distanced himself from Gramm’s commentary by resorting to that all time political favorite: the out-of-work-Michigan-factory-worker gag.

McCain: Hell, when I was a young boy the wheel hadn’t even been invented yet!

Gramm: Just call me the economic Wizard of Oz.

Roving Pinky Evades Justice

2008-05-22T15:09:00.001-07:00

Former Bush aide Karl Rove brazenly defies those pesky notions of principal and justice upon which this country was founded. On Thursday the House Judiciary Committee ordered yet another subpoena against Rove to offer a testimony against allegations that he dismissed and prosecuted former US Attorneys for daring to speak out against Republican policy.

Rove: But I’m so cute and pink and downy loveable!

Big Oil snubs Congress

2008-05-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

The Senate Judiciary Committee today rounded up the world’s top oil company executives to inquire about record oil profits while American consumers increasingly feel the pinch at the pump. Also at issue is the disproportionate amount of money British and American oil companies have invested into renewable energy research relative to net earnings.

(Reuters)

Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill.: "Is there anybody here that has any concerns about what you're doing to this country with the prices that you're charging and the profits that you're taking?"

Old, white oil executives: …

Hillary wins Kentucky

2008-05-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

News agencies across America are predicting a Hillary win in today’s Kentucky primary. This hardly comes as a surprise as preliminary polls for weeks have shown Sen. Hillary Clinton enjoying a significant advantage among Kentucky’s rural white voters. Although enjoying a legitimate surge in recent polls, courtesy of a series of fabricated scandals having surrounded Obama’s campaign, Hillary’s only chance to win this nomination rests on the prospect of reopening the Michigan and Florida state primaries.

Hillary: Over my dead pant suit, Obama.

Michigan and Florida, not Wright

2008-03-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

CNN’s Anderson Cooper interviewed Sen. Barack Obama on Wednesday to discuss Rev. Wright and the possibility of reopening the Michigan and Florida state primaries.

Obama: Oh sh*t, I guess there is still such a thing as racism in America.

A Spitzer of Irony

2008-03-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer apologized for his involvement with the Emperors Club, an interstate prostitution ring. Spitzer established his political reputation as a prosecutor of public corruption and organized prostitution.

(Reuters)

Spitzer (to himself): Behold the power of my frown of regret and remorse.

Silda Spitzer: I need a f***ing drink.

Farce the Nation’s February 2008 Political Review

2008-03-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

Stocks continue to tumble amid growing concerns that the fallout of the mortgage industry is almost certain to affect the credit industry. Additionally, with a steadily declining dollar the price of oil sets record highs on a weekly basis. Though many economists quietly agree that the current economic state of the United States is in a “healthy” recession, a traditionally attendant political swing from corporate excess to liberal moderation has unexpectedly come to a halt. In a desperate blitzkrieg of kitchen sink politics, Hillary Clinton has rejuvenated her campaign by taking three of the four contested primaries from Obama in this week’s second Super Tuesday. What stands now to disrupt an almost assured democratic presidential victory - in the wake of eight blundering years of Republican rule - is the concomitant sabotage of the democratic process by the very party that champions voter participation and political representation. Much to McCain’s delight, both Obama and Hillary are set to deface the integrity of their party as they prepare a bloody wrangle for super delegates, and possibly, to extend the contest itself by re-instating the previously barred primaries of Florida and Michigan. Although the latter properly highlights the need to eliminate our draconian system of the Electoral College, the former will mar any vestige of political legitimacy left in the American two-party system.

Hillary: Welcome to my world, soul brother!

Bush: Ta da te, ta da to, four dollar gas, too bad for you!

McCain rises to descend

2008-02-21T13:39:00.000-08:00

McCain has been accused by the New York Times for engaging in an illicit love affair with lobbyist Vicki Iseman. Interestingly, this serves to benefit multiple parties; the New York Times as it dabbles in tabloid news to boost readership, the Democratic Party as it digs its trenches for the upcoming presidential campaign, the evangelical arm of the Republican Party as it seeks to topple McCain’s nomination, and of course, we the people, for an opportunity to revel in what is gearing up to be yet another enjoyably contemptible political slugfest.

(AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

McCain: Oh god, at this age, I’m just happy when it works.

Cindy: No pump for you tonight, sweetheart!

Texas and Ohio, or bust!

2008-02-20T11:56:00.000-08:00

Facing consecutive losses over the past few weeks, Sen. Hillary Clinton must secure wins in the upcoming primaries of Ohio and Texas. Should Clinton fail to maintain key support from Latino and working-white voters in Texas and Ohio, respectively, her bid for the Democratic nomination will most likely come to an end.

Hillary: Holy S**t, with only this many days left until March 4, I better start dancing the Mariachi now!

On the nature of government for the 21st Century

2008-02-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

Republicans seek to limit government involvement in the affairs of the market. In contrast, Democrats advocate a stronger regulatory presence in which government serves to mitigate corporate excess. Clearly, neither extreme is satisfying. On the one hand, over regulation stands to suffocate innovation and competition, on the other hand, an absence of regulation permits the meaner tendencies of unchecked corporate behavior to create drastically inequitable distribution and access to wealth. The issue then becomes, by what means can this bridge be gapped? Is the answer simply a question of increased bipartisan cooperation, or should legislators and American pundits consider the creation of a tertiary entity that may function as an intermediary between government and the larger business community?

Collectively: Not to worry friends, after the elections are over, we can soon return to business as usual.

Obama maintains momentum

2008-02-13T02:18:00.000-08:00

Sen. Barack Obama’s sweep of Hillary across the Potomac gives him a narrow lead of pledged delegates.

Obama: No stoppin' this train now, baby!

Hillary: (through clenched teeth): Just wait ‘till Texas, pal.

Huckabee woos Kansas

2008-02-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

Despite being outspent and out campaigned, Mike Huckabee wins Kansas and continues to surge in popularity among conservative Christians across the nation. The former governor of Arkansas is considered by political analysts as a likely vice presidential running mate with John McCain.

Huckabee: Say goodbye to social services!

Huckabee: This is my game face for the people of Kansas.

(All photos property of the AP)

Romney drops out, Bush to support McCain

2008-02-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

With former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney out of the race, pundits discuss the merits of an unpopular Bush administration endorsing McCain.

Little Girl (right): Why is this fool trying to look at my teeth?

McCain trumps Limbaugh and friends on Super Tuesday

2008-02-06T02:18:00.000-08:00

Sen. John McCain becomes the designated GOP front-runner despite a concerted effort among hard-line conservative radio and talk show hosts to thwart his efforts.

McCain: Unlike our friend Bush, in Putin's eyes, I saw a K, a G, and a B. Dear friend, looking into your eyes, I can see a P.T.S.D, a T.B.I, and a P.T.E.

Soldier: ...

Bush pitches $3.1 trillion budget to Congress

2008-02-04T11:03:00.000-08:00

Today, Bush’s $3.1 trillion spending plan was roundly criticized by both Democrats and Republicans. According to a CNN report, the budget proposal includes vast increases to military spending and homeland security. Although several social service programs were either cut or frozen (as well as an inclusion to publish copies of the budget online), near-record setting deficits are being projected.

Tapella (right): Wait till you get a load of this historic piece of blunder!

Conrad: Can’t wait to reference this when I’m up for re-election.

Bush rallies to preserve his legacy

2008-02-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

This week, George W. Bush delivered his final State of the Union address, discussed the issues of national security and his Administration’s Global War on Terror, and today urged Congress to expedite passing of a $150 million economic stimulus package.

Bush: Peek-a-boo!

Bush: “Protecting our nation from the dangers of a new century requires more than good intelligence and a strong military. It also requires changing the conditions that breed resentment and allow extremists to prey on despair.”

Cheney: ...that's my Bush.

Farce the Nation’s monthly political review: January 2008

2008-02-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

As a consequence of predatory mortgage practices over the past six years in which loan officers, appraisers, and investment banks selfishly exploited low interest rates by extending credit to borrowers with questionable credit histories, the US economy decidedly headed south in the month of January with near daily two hundred point drops in the major stock indices. As homes foreclose, banks default, and jobs are lost, executives like Angelo Mozilo, former CEO of Countrywide, and Charles Prince, former CEO and chairman of Citigroup, retired comfortably with severance packages worth $100 million and $29.5 million, respectively.

The month of January also saw Democratic and Republican presidential candidates engaged in party campaigns where primary and caucus outcomes have consistently defied the expectations of pollsters and pundits. Voters clearly hunger for an honest political leader (oxymoron?) after an eight year reign of a bumbling and ideologically driven Republican Bush administration that has left the country not only in a disastrous economic state but has managed to provoke the hatred of almost every foreign nation against the United States.

January was also the month in which Sen. Barack Obama solidified the viability of his candidacy with wins in Iowa and South Carolina. His infectious oratorical skills, generous financial backing from Hollywood elites, and a series of campaign blunders on the part of rival Sen. Hillary Clinton’s staff should prove February a month of neck and neck races and fierce debates. On the Republican front, former Sen. Fred Thompson’s flat debate style and former mayor Rudi Giuliani’s Florida-or-bust strategy has left establishment die-hards Sen. John McCain and Gov. Mitt Romney to vie for the GOP presidential nomination.

Lastly, international affairs have hardly fared better as the genocide in Darfur remains merely a talking point within world courts, as Kenya’s bloody civil war continues to rage, as conflicts in both Afghanistan and Iraq stagnate, and as hitherto secondary world leaders (notably, Chavez, Putin, and Jintao) quickly jockey for primacy in the face of a distracted and war weary United States.

To end on a positive note, it must be mentioned that voter turn-out among today’s youth in the United States, particularly on the Democratic side, is beginning to reach previous historic highs (55% during the early 1970s). Hopefully, this is a broader indicator of a cultural shift toward the era of the concerned citizen. Cleary, then, the urgent issues of globalization, climate change, health care and the emergence of biotechnologies can no longer be left in the hands of a narrow class of corporate entrepreneurs.

Farce the Nation

Florida primary key for Romney

2008-01-29T14:40:00.000-08:00

According to a CNN report, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has spent $30 million on TV ads in Florida. A loss today would shatter Romney’s chances for the GOP presidential nomination.

Romney: I feel so pretty!

Hillary unleashes Bill after loss against Obama

2008-01-27T22:47:00.001-08:00

Despite previous polls suggesting a Hillary victory, Sen. Obama emerged the decisive victor on Saturday in the South Carolina primary. Tellingly, within hours after Obama was declared the projected winner, former president Bill Clinton gave a televised speech in Missouri on behalf of Hillary. Throughout the event Bill repeatedly emphasized Hillary’s years of experience and record of legislative achievement in an oblique attempt to reference Obama’s limited time spent in office. Super Tuesday will undoubtedly reveal if Obama’s Saturday win has truly initiated a national movement favorable to his bid for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Hillary: Representin’ the establishment of dynasty

Giuliani’s Florida gamble

2008-01-24T16:41:00.000-08:00

Rudy Giuliani and his campaign manager, Mike DuHaime, are hoping to pull off an historic upset in Florida for the state’s Jan. 29th GOP primary. According to a Time’s report, the Giuliani camp is hoping their staff of over 6,000 volunteers will help drive supporters to vote early, thereby increasing Giuliani’s chances of gaining the state’s 57 delegates and propelling him back into the national spotlight.

Guliani: So, George, do you think if we stand near that building we’ll make front page?

Bush (to himself): I’m tired and I’m sleepy and I want to go home.

Fireman (to himself): I can’t believe I have to stand here and take direction from these opportunistic political bozos while my buildings smolder and burn.

Dick Cheney: Emperor Sidious

2008-01-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

According to an AP report, on Wednesday Vice President Dick Cheney spoke before members of the American Heritage Foundation, a conservative think-tank, where he obliquely chided Congress for not making permanent the Protect America Act. The PAA was passed post 9-11 that expanded the federal government’s ability to conduct warrant less wiretapping on American citizens. As the PAA is about to expire on Feb 1, Cheney is advocating not only for its legislative permanence, but also to include a provision giving telecommunications companies immunity from collaborating with the government over domestic and international surveillance.

Cheney: Dear participants, through fear we shall achieve our objective in further consolidating the power of the Republic.

Fred Thompson calls it quits

2008-01-22T17:23:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, former Sen. Fred Thompson officially ended his campaign for the GOP presidential nomination. Despite his much anticipated and hyped late entry, Fred Thompson went on to endure consecutive losses in Iowa, Michigan, New Hampshire, Nevada, Wyoming, and South Carolina.

Thompson: F**k, I blew it!

Arctic cold grips the United States

2008-01-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

Weather stations across the country are reporting record freezing temperatures. Those affected include firefighters struggling to thaw frozen fire hydrants in Butler County, Pennsylvania, collapsed rooftops requiring rescue workers in Fulton, New York, and flight delays in Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport.

The American Citizen: Climate change? A commitment to pursuing alternative energy resources? Nah…

Nevada key caucus for top Democratic candidates

2008-01-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

Democratic presidential hopefuls are concentrating most of their resources in Nevada where unions and a large Hispanic population wield considerable economic and demographic influence.

Hillary: Look deep into my eyes…you are feeling sleepy, your lids are heavy, and your breathing is labored…Now, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up and walk promptly to your parents and nag them until they vote for me on Saturday.

Rice on tour in the Middle East

2008-01-15T17:00:00.000-08:00

This week Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice visits several countries in the Middle East. Critics accuse her trip of accomplishing nothing more than an offering of gratuitous talking points and calculated photo ops.

Rice: How fun this really all is…and I wonder which of those handsome Arab princes I’ll meet with next?

Bush: The arms pimp?

2008-01-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

A CNN report disclosed plans by the Bush administration to sell $20 billion dollars worth of advanced weaponry. This is not the first time the United States has sold WMDs to a regime in the Middle East. Former beneficiaries include Iran, Iraq, and Israel.

Saudi King Abdullah: Oh my dear friend Bush, allow me to give you 900 kisses.

Bush: Anytime, Abadala.

Reflections on the costs of the Iraq war

2008-01-11T16:26:00.000-08:00

Prior to the invasion of Iraq in March of 2003, former Chief economist Lawrence Lindsey projected the Iraq war to cost between $100 Billion to $200 Billion. These estimates were roundly considered too high by Bush administration war hawks and ultimately led to Lindsey being fired three months later. The current cost of the Iraq war is set to reach $500 Billion this year.

Lindsey: With all due respect, Mr. President, this war is going to be very expensive.

Bush: Whoa, there! Mr. Lindsey with the statistical voodoo!

Lindsey: …

Chavez helps liberate captives

2008-01-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

According to a CNN report, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez successfully brokered a deal with Columbian guerrillas, FARC, for the release of two hostages.

Chavez: Now, don’t forget, as a result of my efforts to acquire your freedom, I expect nothing less than total obedience.

Kerry stumps for Obama

2008-01-10T12:36:00.000-08:00

Before an enthusiastic crowd in Charleston, South Carolina, Sen. John Kerry declared his endorsement of Illinois Senator Barack Obama for the Democratic presidential nomination. Kerry is still a much beloved figure among democratic voters and his JohnKerry.com community, with access to millions of members, is an important and timely gain for Obama’s campaign.

Kerry: mmm, is this as good for you as it is for me?

Obama: oh yes...mmm...oh yes.

President Bush reacts to Iranian naval aggression

2008-01-09T12:39:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday five boats, allegedly from the Islamic Republic of Iran Revolutionary Guard Navy, maneuvered aggressively around three U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz. Today, President Bush and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert met in Jerusalem for a joint news conference to discuss the incident.

Bush: Oh man, I’m just itching for war.

Olmert: Patience, George, patience. Just one more incident like this and we’ll soon have an excuse to bomb Iran.

Huckabee samples New Hampshire

2008-01-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

Mike Huckabee tries a tailor made hamburger affectionately called the “Huckaburger” at the Barley House restaurant in Concord, New Hampshire on Monday.

Huckabee: Let’s see, this one tastes like a red state friendly to my theme of religion, and this one, like a blue state spiced for the concerns of the little guy and the economy.

Mitt Romney trails John McCain in New Hampshire

2008-01-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has outspent Sen. John McCain in advertising by 2.8 million on WMUR, New Hampshire’s only television station.

Romney: I am the best candidate for change, silly.

Polls show Hillary Clinton even with Barack Obama among New Hampshire voters

2008-01-06T17:57:00.001-08:00

The stakes are high for Hillary Clinton after finishing third behind Senators Barack Obama and John Edwards in the Iowa Caucus. According to a CNN/WMUR poll Clinton and Obama are in a statistical dead-heat among likely Democratic voters in New Hampshire. On Saturday, Clinton accused Obama of wavering on key issues such as the Patriot Act and funding for the Iraq war.

Clinton: Obama said he’d vote against the Patriot Act, but didn’t, Hiyah! Obama said he’d vote against funding the war in Iraq, he didn’t, Hiyah!

Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly bullies Obama staffer

2008-01-06T16:45:00.000-08:00

Several eyewitnesses confirmed pundit Bill O’Reilly shoved Obama’s National Trip Director Marvin Nicholson on Saturday during a Nashua campaign event. After being denied an interview with Barack Obama, Mr. O’Reilly grabbed Nicholson’s arm and began pushing him around. Obama eventually intervened and granted Mr. O’Reilly an opportunity to speak briefly.

O’Reilly: Nobody gets in the way of my populist disguised Republican ego!

Tribal violence continues to ravage the people of Kenya over disputed election results

2008-01-04T15:12:00.000-08:00

Oppositional party candidate Raila Odinga accuses presidential winner Mwai Kibaki of having rigged elections. Although pre-vote polling strongly suggested an Odinga presidential victory, by a margin of less than 5% Kibaki declared his re-election. News of Odinga's loss quickly spurned tribal violence between Kenya's principal ethnic groups, the Kikuyus (Kibaki) and Luos (Odinga). Kenya has been deemed by the Bush administration as an important ally in the fight against terrorism as it is bordered by Ethiopia in the north and Somalia to the east.

Bush: Now listen, Kibaki. I’ve been through this before. All you’ve got to do is hire an outside tallying agency and instruct them to establish vague voting paratemers . This way (pause marked by frustration) you effectively elinimate those peoples least favorable to your campaign. Now, once you’ve purchased the desired result, people may vent, but then all you have to do is initiate a national crisis around which all your citizens, regardless of political background, can rally behind. You see, people have a short attention span.

Kibaki: Yes, I see, but-

Bush: No buts Kibaki, just follow your gut. Now, let’s try some of that caramelized Kenyan banana I’ve heard so much about.

Kibaki: …

Fred Thompson rumored to drop out

2008-01-03T12:56:00.000-08:00

Projected results in Iowa and New Hampshire show Fred Thompson trailing most of his Republican challengers.

Thompson: What happened? Did I come off as too inspiring? Did I, at some point, commit a Howard Dean yelp?

Democratic frontrunners anticipate the results of the Iowa caucus

2008-01-02T18:56:00.000-08:00

The three leading Democratic presidential candidates, former Illinois Senator John Edwards, Sen. Hillary Clinton, and Sen. Barack Obama, deliver final speeches before Iowa caucus-goers place their votes.

Edwards: I stumped hard in the rural areas of Iowa to spread my message of middle-class empowerment. Hell, I even wore blue jeans!

Obama: I have to pull this off; after all, nobody loses with Oprah on their side.

Clinton: Without question I’ll win, throughout the campaign I’ve remained calm, cool and collected. I even managed to keep Bill from flirting with my staffers!

Mitt Romney eyes the Iowa caucus

2007-12-31T22:43:00.000-08:00

Winner of the Ames straw poll with 31% of the vote, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney goes on the offensive in Iowa against Republican adversaries John McCain and Mike Huckabee.

Mitt Romney: Run attack ads against statistical challengers, check. Realign my political beliefs to fit those held by constituent majorities, check. Avoid direct questions by artfully redirecting them onto other candidates, check. Maintain my perfectly slicked hair with Aveda’s witch hazel light bodied hairspray, CHECK!

Mike Huckabee campaigns in Iowa

2007-12-31T00:18:00.000-08:00

Republican presidential contender Mike Huckabee teams up with Sen. John McCain to blast rival candidate Mitt Romney with less than a week to go before the Iowa caucuses.

Mike Huckabee: With my one eye on Terrorism, and the other on Immigration, my soul is for Jesus!

Now or Never

2007-12-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama and his wife Michelle celebrate during a recent campaign event in Iowa.

Obama: It’s good to be me, baby, because Oprah’s in my house!

Michelle: If my husband so much as grazes Oprah’s bottom, I’ll whoop his ass so hard he'll wake up Republican!

Freedom for Security

2007-12-28T11:48:00.000-08:00

As the United States struggles to impose order in Iraq and Afghanistan, Vladimir Putin has single handedly re-defined the role of the despot for the 21st century.

Putin: George Bush, Russia thanks you.

President Vladimir Putin dissolves government

2007-12-27T14:47:00.000-08:00

For my inaugural post I can’t help but delve a few months back when President Vladimir Putin, at the request of Prime Minister Mikhail Fradkov, dissolved the Russian government. This image, taken during a State Council session, was by far the most telling:

Mikhail Fradkov: So, Vladimir, as a token of your appreciation, you will grant me access to Kim Jong-Il’s pleasure brigade, won’t you?

Vladimir Putin: Hmm…in time, kind comrade, in time.